David Marques

Sports often provide inspiration for leadership. The way we experience and react to wins and losses are a great analogy for the challenges of life. And for me no other sport offers as many life lessons as soccer. Where I’m from we call it futebol, and for as long as I can remember the idea of kicking a ball and scoring a goal has always been synonymous with moments of inexplicable joy. Growing up in Portugal I can truly say some of my best memories were made inside of a soccer stadium. And while, for many years I yearned to be involved in the game itself I simply was not talented enough with my feet and found my calling in the corporate world.

Well, things changed recently. Sort of…

At the beginning of the year I heard my kids middle school soccer coach had stepped down and after some inquiring  I found out the role was still open. Having coached on the side before when my kids were little I felt this calling to apply for the role. My view for the position was that more than winning my goal would be to invest in a younger generation and instill some character based leadership traits they could take beyond the soccer field.

With the season now over I can truly say the opportunity to invest in these young men was a blessing. And it wasn’t so much for the results on the field, even though we had a winning record despite falling short of a title. No, the blessing came in the life lessons that I hope will shape the men they will become.

There are days when you feel life is inside out
There are nights when your mind doesn’t wanna settle down
You’re in between who you are and who you wanna be
And while you work it out and what it all could mean
I pray you’ll be

Cheering you on – for King and Country

Character is built on respect

I remember my first conditioning practice as if it was yesterday. During an exercise I asked players to run to the midfield and once there to wait in a plank position until everyone was done. One of the players thought it was the perfect time to slow down and enjoy the agony of seeing everyone in a plank position while they waited for him. After pointing out the need to respect a coach’s direction and the subsequent pushups as a consequence, I reminded him of the need to respect his teammates too. The importance of respect in this context can be clearly identified but it is often overlooked.

Respect is earned through care and honor. Similar to trust, respect is an emotional currency that grows through actively showing someone you appreciate them.

Character is built in humility

Through tryouts and during the process of team selection it was obvious we would be heavy on eight graders. If you are not familiar with middle school soccer you can only pick seventh and eighth graders to be part of the team. With many eight graders moving from the previous year’s team with some experience they were always bound to have an advantage. But the reality was that they were also taller, faster and more skilful. My interest was in seeing how they would behave with their younger teammates.

Oftentimes we see arrogance as a byproduct of confidence, but true leadership doesn’t require self elevation; the best leaders elevate others. What I was looking for was a confident self belief that would choose humility. I am proud to say I saw that in most of my players. In fact, remember the player I mentioned earlier needing to teach the importance of respect? He was one of the most humble eight graders on the team. A true leader who became one of my captains.

Character is built with grace

Our season didn’t finish with a trophy but then again, that was never the final goal. The objective was to see these young men tested in different scenarios of a game. How would they react when they scored a goal? How would they behave in defeat? Would they rally together or crumble in frustration? Would they lift a teammate when they made a mistake or blame them for the error? All of these situations took place and they provided the opportunity to experience the ups and downs of life.

Character is forged with the grace we give in victory and defeat. The same grace we provide to others and ourselves. It’s about knowing how to react when everything goes according to our plan and when things don’t.

Gracious in the fight of it
Humble at the height of it
Choose to love in spite of it all
And when you’re questioning the why of it
Rise up in the light of it
I’ll be by your side in it all
I’m cheering you on

Cheering you on – for King and Country

It was an honor to spend so much time with these boys. Their real gift to this world is not about how they can kick a ball, make an amazing play, or score a goal; no, their gift is in the way I saw them show character throughout the season. To play a part in their growth and witnessing their character unfold was a blessing.

What has been your experience with sports? Do you have a character trait that you can point to a sport you played in school? Share in the comments below.